The winter tends to bring about the beginning of everything that is right and wrong when it comes to relationships. The effort or dedication plays a tremendous part in making anything worth having, work!

 Who would had thought that Zapp & Roger would be on to something with their song, “Computer Love” back in 1985? (lyrics, “I no longer need a strategy, thanks to modern technology”) Now we have all types of websites where two or more people can link up for whatever reason, real and or imaginary.

 This is where the interest begins. You are alone in your room, with nothing more on your mind than to check a few e-mails and of course read the Facebook NewsFeed. Everything is going according to plan until you receive that one inbox message and or chat pop up that changes everything. We are not equipped with the right or wrong thing to say once the interest is laid out on the table but if the timing is proper (or not), we take the bait placed before us and the rest is history in the making.

 Let me not have you sitting there believing that every internet based relationship has a happy ending, for it does not. There exists countless relationships that fall victim to the ugliest of break ups over the very same website that brought them together.

 He may feel that you are receiving one friend request too many from men that you do not know. She may feel that you are receiving too many pokes from random women. They feel that Facebook is tearing them apart because of the time spent ON Facebook instead of IN the relationship itself.

 He may say, “I will be with you in a minute” which turns into an hour or more. She may say, “I meant to clean today on my day off but I was busy”….Needless to say, she was busy playing random games on Facebook and or chatting away and time evaded her.

 Whatever the excuse at the moment, it takes away from YOU time. A balance  should be created to support a stable and healthy relationship. Facebook does NOT necessarily destroy relationships, the people who use it do. You will not receive phone calls from those who work for FB telling you, “Perhaps he or she is cheating on you.”

 You will not find an e-mail from Mark  Zuckerberg himself; recapping a series of events that had taken place between your “love” and someone else, in your absence. Needless to say, avoid blaming a website when everything comes crashing down around you. The pieces of the puzzle are yours to put in place, at best FB provides various outlets for you to do your own detective work along with cellphones and other forms of, “Damn, I think something is not right” gadgets and friends but ultimately the choice to overlook any or all of these is that of your own. 

 We build our expectations and we lay them to rest based on our actions. If you find something that you do not agree with and you do nothing about it, you are accepting it. Perhaps looking to build from the ground up OUTSIDE of a website would be the best option but keep one thing in mind, “You can not change a leopards spots” From the word go, they are what they are.

 If you FOUND them on Facebook, expect for them to BE on Facebook. Do not ask for them to “temporarily suspend” their account; pointless! That is no different from meeting an exotic dancer in their place of employment, starting a relationship with them and a few short months later you find yourself telling them they need to stop dancing? Again, pointless and though it is understandable to some the reason behind your request, the fact remains; you came to them and that was already part of their “package deal”

 The choices we make affect us and those around us at times but we need to make the best choices for ourselves at the end of the day. We need not blame anyone else aside from the image we see in the mirror, for our failure to communicate what we will and will not tolerate.

 Follow up and follow through! Stay alert and be wise or fail the one person that matters most, YOU!

For more, Ask Daym.