Something that we never truly learn in a relationship until it is far too late! The effort placed from day 1 is usually long gone by day 100; for we become relaxed. It is no different from a struggling artist who finally “makes it” and we watch their work fall apart; for the hunger no longer exists.

 I need to ask, when you look upon your significant other, “ARE YOU STILL HUNGRY?” Do you find that he or she has allowed themselves to become as comfortable if not MORE SO, than you? We can touch on that question anther day but as you read this blog, I will need for you to focus on the one person to whom I speak of, YOU!

 Did you walk into your relationship or plan to start one with your eyes closed? This is often the story told as the months progress, for the arguments are all too familiar. They tell you what it is they are looking for and you share your thoughts but for some strange reason, that conversation falls by the wayside.

 The moment the two of you become comfortable, it no longer matters that she told you she was looking to get married within the year! It no longer matters that he said he was not ready for marriage, for he has been down that road before and wanted to enjoy dating for a while. We write verbal checks that become VOID the moment something goes from casual to committed.

 The woman who said that she wanted  marriage within a year, well guess what? A year has passed and though she did not say one word about it for the last 12 months, she makes it obvious that it is on her mind. Every television program watched, is wedding related and you are the fortunate candidate of choice who gets to cuddle and sit through something that you are not ready for.

 The man who said, “I am only looking to date” was good on his own word for 5 hot seconds before he found himself going from steady mode to ready mode. Months progress and all he is able to show for change, comes in a multitude of apologies for one mistake after another. He is no more ready to settle down than a leopard is willing to change their spots. The most interesting part was, you thought that you were the one who could CHANGE all of that and this is why the last few months of your invested time comes as a loss.

 WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

 You can say to yourself, this needs to end. I had goals that I can not carry out with this person or you can compromise! Who is willing to bend over backwards to make the other person happy; why not BOTH of you? If you were faithfully practicing resolve from relationship 101, compromise should never be the issue for it is the foundation that holds the relationship together.

 Compromise is best used when truly understood. You can not say that you are willing to do something that you do not care to do, because your heart will never be in it. Needless to say, once your heart takes a backseat to a plan; that plan fails miserably. One foot in and one foot out is the perfect combination for beautiful destruction, constructed and resided by you alone.

 Happiness does not automatically live where you are, it takes time to manifest. You need to work at maintaining your household and make sure that the upkeep happens . When you work together, you are a force but you will not agree on everything. HE does not need to always agree with your thoughts and or habits! SHE does not need to agree with every move that you make, let alone the thoughts that you keep!

 Compromise is not always easy, it has you beside yourself at times. When you stop and think of the strength that it creates, you will find that compromise was never your enemy but a friend for life!

For more, Ask Daym.